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"This is how you lose her.

You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery store, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.

You must remember when she forgets.

You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.

She remembers when you forget.

You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.

You must learn her.

You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.

You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.

And, this is how you keep her."

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FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Holy. Shit. It was my first day of Senior year in college! What even is life? So the day started off kind of rushed because last night my roommates and I bonded over champagne, bagged wine, and weed (only the best). This is the first time we were finally all home, our last roommate Rem moved in last night. So obviously we celebrated the New (school) Year with champagne!! Well we ran out of it before midnight by like 40 minutes, so we had to go to the store to get more booze. The store was not selling booze. Instead we got ice cream. We then started to head back home, ended up going to the beach because I wanted to star gaze, where we started to drink some wine Rem had in his car. We went home and played games and drank more. Then this morning I was like “I don’t wanna…” and rushed to get to my class because I had no idea where it was in the new building and it was raining. Drove to class (writing) and had a pretty good two hours. Went to Fall Fest where student organizations and local companies have booths and hand out free things to get people to sign up and listen to people babble about their shit. It went from cold rainy to steamy humid hot within minutes. Stood in that gross weather for 3ish hours, talking to friends, getting free things, wandering around, and getting people to come to the theatre booth. Class number two started and it was just rambling of what we are to do in that class, Directing. Then I sat and did some homework for 2ish hours and came home to make food. I don’t even know. Now I have to work in the morning and then go to a boring fucking class that I have to retake!! BUUUT in the evening I have ballet and I am so pumped!! WOOO! I hope all of you who have started classes or who have started breaks are having great times. This year will be interesting and I’m not sure of how to feel really. I shall update you more about my life and the interesting things that happen in it while I’m off campus now. Talk to you all soon. 

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"1. I left my favorite pair of underwear at your house. I know your mother hates me, can I come pick them up?
[delete]
2. It’s been almost a month and I still miss you like a fucking limb.
[delete]
3. I didn’t know my bones could ache until I met you.
[delete]
4. You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember? I had bought a book of poetry. You asked why I didn’t read something more interesting and I could feel my insides splinter.
[delete]
5. You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty. When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you too.
[delete]
6. It’s 3 a.m. and this alcohol tastes like you.
[delete]
7. I saw you staring at me today during Lit class. I smiled at you and you didn’t smile back. I almost cried.
[delete]
8. The girl who sits next to me smells like you.
[delete]
9. I miss you.
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10. I have never had so many bad nights.
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11. Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet. Strangers who have never met either of us think you’re cruel – they tell me if they had the honor of loving me, we’d have sex three times a day and they’d scream my name when they came.
[delete]
12. They think it is beautiful, how I am broken. I don’t think they understand.
[delete]
13. You used to tell me I was beautiful. I tried saying it in the mirror the other day, but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
[delete]
14. Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
[delete]
15. We were never in love, but, oh God, we could have been.
[delete]"

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vndercontrol:

yeah im winking at u
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vndercontrol:

goodnight tumblr
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